- Cats
Veritable allergy factories on legs, cats are brilliant swindlers of their unwitting owners, who provide them expensive meat dishes every day and service their chunky unplumbed lavatories - something they'd never do for another person. Cats also succeed in deluding their owners into thinking that soaking oneself in saliva constitutes cleanliness, and that something that just walked in its own excrement should be allowed to climb all over furniture, food-preparation surfaces, and often the owners face. Appalling.
Absolutely indisputable evidence cats suck. Seriously, you do not want one.
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